a party of egyptian scholars and treasure-hunters are excavating a protestant cemetary in iowa, following rumors that a minister's wife was buried with a sacred slide bracelet that has archeological significance and is worth quite a bit of money. undeterred by the superstition of their native guides, who cringe and flee through the first part of the movie, they persist and identify the correct grave by the poem about a companion angel engraved upon the stone. reading the poem aloud on an uncharacteristically snowy night in june, they awaken the Curse of the Ancient Iowans; the frighteningly well-preserved corpse rises to seek vengeance upon them for desecrating her grave, kidnapping the gorgeous fiancee of the expedition leader to sacrifice in an ancient protestant rite that will restore her to full power and allow her to take over the world.

since there are no qualified caucasian actors available, all of the iowans will be played by koreans who will bleach their hair and be trained by british speech therapists in the proper accents...